Donnerstag, September 18

this is how you remind me of what I really am

I feel hollow. My days are spent in bed, my night on various support websites, I'm trying to help people, because I can't help myself. There's another therapy session tomorrow and I'll try to balance the subject on my insomnia that has been coming back really bad lately. I could cope with it, I got through insomnia for years without dying, yes I suffered, but I survived and I know it's not priority. Because he is. He always was, and he always will be. My therapist wants to use the remaining sessions to talk about him and I'm not sure I can do this. I'm more than glad that she stated that if she won't push and if I tell her to she'll back off, but I also know that this is something I have to get through, that how it works, doesn't it? The whole surviving thing, 
it's not my thing at all, considering that I did a pretty good job at it, I guess. 

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