Montag, August 24

almost

Sometimes when I take a pull on my cigarette it reminds me of you, because your cigarettes tasted just the same. And the smell of a bar takes me back to the day we spent drinking and smoking and back to the night I lay next to you in your bed. And the songs of my favorite band will always bring back the image of your smile.
It's a pity though that the thing reminding me the most of you is that heartbreaking feeling deep down in my gut and the word 'almost', because that's all we ever were. But I'll think of the happiness you gave me in the few days we spent together, instead of dwelling in the imagination of what we could have had. And one day I'll be able to have people touching me again without wishing it to be your hands on my skin.
I'm not saying I loved you, but I felt something for sure and I can't wait for that feeling, whatever it might be, to be gone. To be honest, I never loved you, just the happiness your smile and your words gave me and while there still might be hope inside me, it is without a doubt hopeless and I'm dying to see the day my heart realizes that as well.

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