Dienstag, September 1

state of my head

oh, my eyes are seein' red
double vision from the blood we've shed
the only way I'm leavin' is dead

I'd be lying, if I said I got over you. But damn, I survived you. All these texts, all my words, this whole blog, turned out to be dedicated to you, to us. Nearly every word is direct to you or just me talking about you and all the pain, god, all the pain. It's still there and some days I feel this hole inside me, sucking in all the happiness I've tried to build up again and then I feel like drowning again; there's no air to breathe and no medication to stop the agony. But other days I walk down the road at night and scream at the sky how much I love you, so you don't forget since I can't tell you anymore, and I'm not planning on following you any time soon. And then there's happiness inside me, because every time I look up to the stars, I know you're out there somewhere being happy too. I can feel myself being ripped apart and this shattered heart of mine will for ever be scared, but damn, I survived. 

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