heaven and paradise

and somewhere during my seventeenth year in hell

my mind vanished in heaven
when death finally took your body.

if love was real
your soul would linger here,
next to my lost flesh and blood.

could it be that you're watching every step of mine
since I wasn't ready to cut our bond,
letting you out into a better world
full of dead souls
filled with a love never seen on earth before.

my smile got stuck in time
the day you passed the border between those worlds,
that day I felt nothing
in a way I've never experienced it before,
like shadows ripping out my heart
since it was yours from the beginning.

there is still blood getting pumped trough my veins,
still oxygen keeping it on,
but it lost its meaning
when you left this world
searching for a better one.

I hope you found peace in heaven
and never let go of him
who showed you a life worth living
and after you broke every single promise
I wanted you to give me,
can you still keep on this one thing
you decided to promise me on your own?

is it too much to ask you for comforting words
and a warm hand
guiding me to paradise,
where we might be able to live
together for eternity
like we always wished to.

may your dreams exist in heaven
and let us meet again in paradise,
please guide me towards gently.

I lost my ability to see
when you went away
and the reaper took my heart,
my soul and my entire life
except for my body
together with yours.

just guide me please,
just wait for me there.

see you soon, my heart

forever yours