gate to wonderland

it has been two weeks now,
such a long time
passing by in an instant.
now you're out there
and I'm still wandering around
on earth.

we are best friends, right?
I don't even know
if that's an accurate way
to describe our relation,
is such a relation still existing?
I guess it does.

I'm still referring to you
as my current best friend
and the person I love the most.
this hasn't changed
with that dead body of yours
which still lingers in this hell,
slowly fading away
it's what remains of you.

I'm not allowing this world
to take everything
that's left from you.
god can go to hell.
I'm not letting you go,
excuse my selfishness,
but I'm loosing my mind.

I lost that bit of sanity I had left
and all that remains
is the memory of a dream
and every word you ever said.

do I really have to hang on?
I'm not through this hell yet,
seems like I don't deserve peace
but you do.

now go on
and find your way,
but stay with me please.
he will guide you
towards paradise.

you deserve better
than being kept on earth
with me.
like a ghost,
not ready to walk
into that holy light
those fairy-tails taught us about.

I just can't stop loving you,
please don't hate me.
and if you really want to leave,
can I come along?